it's just me
by never-mind-girl
Summary: After more than one year Johnny Mackenzie suddenly appears in the world he belongs. He never would have thought only one single person would have missed him, but obviously there is someone whose life changed a lot ever since the punk went missing. Characters by 2spookyteen. and johnnymackenzie. tumblr(.)com
1. Chapter 1

A nightmare. This must be a nightmare.

This must be it. This couldn't be real.

It couldn't.

This can't be happening. Not really.

It was weird enough they woke up in the same body, but a different place in the same world. Just another dimension. Just an alternative universe.

They took the place of themselves and a complete different person at the same time.

And all of this happened because of one little thing missing. One tiny fact to be different.

But this time it _was_ different.

Jericho scrambled to hide in a corner, legs pulled to his chest, more by the force of his arms than their own. He only hoped some god would make him not see the trail of blood that would lead him directly to Jericho's poor shelter. Just a corner.

Face drowned in dirt, blood, sweat and tears, but none of hard work – god no – fear and pure fright created them. Disbelieve and lack of understanding and thus more fear.

His angel-like blue eyes were wide, pupil barely visible anymore and just as vague as his thoughts. Not useful at all.

Just fragments, just pleas, just regret and stupid questions. How and why.

His breathing must be ragged, he must be shivering because droplets of pure, shining red blood jumped from his chin, lips and nose, made part of his open and messed hair wet and sticking to the left side of his face.

He must be breathing, but he couldn't tell. He couldn't feel it. He shouldn't breath. He could hear him..!  
>His tattooed body was shaking like a leaf, like muscles so weak without bones to hold onto.<p>

Maybe Johnny didn't had to die.

Maybe it could have all been different – fuck it WOULD have been all different..!

The living proof was after his throat right now! But Jericho wouldn't have want to turn into… _this_!

Yet still… maybe he could have saved Johnny. He should have never done that to him- not without knowing the whole story. He felt guilt weighing on his shoulders from the moment on he just ran away, thinking he could just go to visit him as soon as they were all back in their world. But he couldn't.

He couldn't just go to his place and say sorry. Because Johnny never returned.

The tattooed teen started to shake even harder, hands rising without control, fingers gripping into his own hair, clenching to his throbbing scalp peculiar numb and painless as his heart frequency increased to an almost inhumane rate.

His cheek piercings where like pins to his skin, as if they were eyes on their own, eyes of a fallen angel crying blood. When he actually just got beat up pretty bad, lip torn open as well, his tunnels probably lying somewhere near that window in the other room of whatever lonely place he was here.

Why – why was he thinking about this now why was he thinking about _him_ now why couldn't it stop?! Why couldn't it just stop?! Why does it never stop?!

This was not a punishment! This was not his fault- it wasn't! It was an accident he never meant to happen!

Johnny did not come back a day after everybody returned, not in a week, not in two, not a month.

And nobody cared. Nobody noticed why did nobody notice?! Why was it just him why wasn't he able to sleep probably one single night Johnny was dead he must be dead he knew it it couldn't be different he saw it! Jericho saw him dying. Every night. Every single night he couldn't sleep.

He killed him.

He wrapped his hands around Johnny's throat until the struggling stopped. Until his breathing stopped. Until his heart stopped. Letting him die with unheard last words from trembling lips as the static in Jericho's ears got louder the shorter Johnny's breath broke through his lips.

Until there was nothing than mute screaming. And he woke up in his bed.

He wanted to wake up now.

Get away from this place, wanted the horrible static in his ears and throbbing to stop, didn't want to feel the pain in his limbs, his stomach, the sting in his chest.

Why couldn't he wake up …?

"Having ffun down there?"

A deep voice, sound of heavy footsteps and suddenly the pierced teen realized there were legs in front of him.

His heart, thoughts and blood froze for a painful long moment. Eyes wandering up the now even taller seeming body belonging to those legs covered in boots and black ripped jeans. Knife clenched in one of his fists, the other just hanging down on his side. Scars covering his tanned arms, leaving ugly white stains, like a faded painting.

And Jericho honestly didn't know where he took the time to stare that long. Either he was just standing there in front of him still for too long or his brain wasn't able to measure time accurately anymore. But it seemed so long.

Until Jericho stared into the dark hollow eyes of a porcelain white mask, delicately splattered with red dots. One hollow eye. The other just as blue as his own.

So this was him.

This was Jericho Chavez.


	2. Chapter 2

A terrified whine fell from Jericho's lips once he snapped out of his stare, trying to scramble back further only to press his back up against the cold, rough wall. Its grey old cement let even him know that there was no way to escape, no place to hide and no shelter from this mad gaze he was exposed to. He didn't know where they were, just some old and lonely house in one of these old and lonely blocks downtown. Not even the police bothered coming here anymore.

The tattooed boy's frightened blue eyes couldn't else but fix his other self, as if they were glued to this horrible mask.

"It's a sshame you enjoy yoursself down there all alone." Spook took a step closer, like he knew Jericho would twitch and make another miserable attempt to melt into the walls behind him. And he could have sworn if the the taller teen didn't wear that mask, he would have just had the same hollow grin on his face…! Feasting on doubt and humiliation Jericho was flowing over with.

"…We can make it a little more ffun for me.. you know..~?" And with this the scarred teen leaped forward, killing the last bit of space between them and not letting the other any time to scream as he grabbed the tattooed teen's hair, yanked his head forward educing a pained yelp from Jericho's lips before Spook brutally smashed him back against the wall.

For a moment Jericho thought his skull cracked open. All he perceived was a dull and loud thud in his head, followed by momentary loss of sight and hearing until there was a progressive pain spreading from the back of his head through his entire skull that made it even hard to breathe, accompanied by a static sound and irritating buzzing. But he didn't have to endure that for long. When he took the first panicked gasp his head was rammed back against the wall a few more times.  
>He probably did cry out and he did try to defend himself, but obviously it was in vain. Jericho could not even tell anymore how often his head was smashed against the bricks, for all he sensed by now was a numbing pain and a deafening ringing, increasing with each smash.<p>

Huffing Spook ripped his hand away, watching as Jericho's head fell forward and bobbed back a bit, just enough so the other could see his wide, empty blue eyes once he sat there kind of paralyzed.

Blood was rinning down the back of his head and nape, soiling his light blue shirt even more. A low grunt left the scarred teen's throat and he knelt down, grabbing his other self's chin and making him look up. "Hey! Don't you passs out on me jusst now, wimp..! Nevver been in a sseriouss ffight or what..?" Chuckling Spook let go of him as soon as he recognized the smallest motion of Jericho's pupils, indicating the boy was coming back to reality and hell will it be a cruel one for him.

Coughing and hissing out another whimper the pierced teen squeezed his eyes shut, trying to make the pain radiating from his head any better. He did understand what the other man said, even if it was dull and blurred, but he did.. and he didn't want to give in. No idea why he wanted to make this effort when he could just pass out and endure whatever he was planning for him while being unconscious. But he didn't want to… even though he was scared… this asshole could not just do that..! There was no reason- no obvious reason at least not for Jericho.

Right when he shifted a tad and wanted to lift his hands to hold his own head and to ease the pain, his eyes shot open when Spook grasped one of his wrists and pinned it next to Jericho's head against the wall.

"Know whatt…? I bet I can make you keeping your hand againsst the wall jusst like that without touching itt." The scarred teen's voice was softer than before, almost amused and Jericho was not sure if it was real or just his brain simply having some major damage already and he only imagined that. Yet still, there was something swinging along those words that sounded more pestilent than anything he had ever heard in his life. And he didn't know if it was that or the taller teen's imminent presence that made Jericho stare back into that one glistening blue eye peeking from behind the mask. A little to concentrated. A little too long.

For the next thing Jericho heard was the sound of a sharp blade cutting through soft flesh, scraping some bones and hitting something hard to get stuck in. Right next to his ear.

And the following moments were drowned in a bloodcurdling scream, muscles of his hand tensing and cramping around the knife that Spook had rammed through Jericho's open palm as more and more warm blood leaked from the wound, running down his arm, redrawing the pathway of his vessels on his skin.

"**FUUUUCK!**" Jericho arched his back, trying to not move his hand but that was impossible, as if he had lost control over his muscles and shit— it just hurt so bad he HAD to move in some way!

Yet his agonized screams were accompanied by dry laughter coming from the other teen's lips. Finally Spook shoved his mask up on his head, revealing his scarred face and just as Jericho had predicted, the sick grin on his face stretched from one ear to the other. "I bet you're a prettty vocal ssinger in your little band." He joked and leaned in a bit as Jericho bit his lip desperately to silence any more cries, also trying to give his brain some other pain it could focus at, not just the one in his left hand. It didn't work very well, but well enough to fix his stare onto Spook again.

The scarred boy cocked his head a tad, one hand wandering up Jericho's thigh until it slipped into his pocket. And there Spook seemed to have found something that let his good eye sparkle with eager. Not a very good sign but honestly the smaller teen had completely forgotten what he took with him and he couldn't and didn't want to concentrate and try to remember right now. So all that he had left was watching his other self and hoping he would for some reason come to his mind and let him go, or at least just walk away and let him alone.

But it would have been to good to be true. "I ssee… maybe we are not as diffferent as I thought we'd be. At least we havve the ssame sstuff with uss." That was when Spook revealed the jack-knife Jericho's father once gave him and the tortured teen's eyes just went wide and anxious again.

"..N o.. p-plea se…!" Fear eventually made him take his teeth out of his bottom lip to choke out those words, preferably without whining or yelping. His free hand gripped onto the rim of his partly blood stained shirt, having nowhere else to cling to and shield itself from the forbidding future.

"Wh y are y-you d-doing thi s..? Wh-what the h ell ha ve I done t o you..?!" He really tried hard to hold more tears back, to make his voice sound strong and demanding, but there was just no way.

Spook's smile vanished at those words and he looked at the other one for a few seconds, still and seemingly calm. "…What you havve done..?" He repeated the question as if it was the most stupid and obvious thing in the world. "What you havve done?!" With a swift movement he had snatched Jericho's right wrist and pressed it against the wall, lunging out with the knife and making the hurt teen turn his head away with a terrified scream. Yet Spook didn't thrust the blade through his other palm. He just stayed in this position and grinned when Jericho slowly turned back his head, afraid the other might stab him every second. He didn't even try to free his still intact hand, knowing every movement would make his other one hurt only more.

"you misssed ssomething…" Spook carried on, earning a slightly confused look from the other as he didn't say anything else.

"..M- missed..? wh at..?" It wasn't more than a scared whisper leaving pierced lips, watching how Spook leaned in a little closer until Jericho could feel his breath on his blood streamed face.

"You misssed watching your ffather sshoot himselff in the head…" Spook's grip around Jericho's wrist became more violent. "You misssed sseeing the devil sstand next tto your bed evvery night." The tattooed teen winced when Spook pressed the blunt side of the bade to Jericho's neck. "You misssed cutting your own fface open in desspair…!" His voice got louder, eye narrowed and lips twitched into a disgusted grimace. "You misssed having a **FUCKED – UP - LIFE!**"

Another gasp, another lunge, an other earsplitting scream and Jericho's second hand was pinned to the wall right next to his head.

And now the pierced teen didn't even try to hold back his screams and yells anymore, for this fucking _hurt_. More than getting his other hand stabbed. Spook must have hit and broke some bones or nerves or it was just the fear and panic that made it even more painful.

Winding and coughing between terrible aching cries Jericho tried desperately to find himself any comfort in this, but only seemed to make the pain and spasms worse by moving at all.

Spook stood back up and watched him for a while, trapped like a fly in a spider's net. He couldn't tell how it felt to see his other self like that… he couldn't tell how it felt to kill his best friend back then either. He just stood there. Starring. In disbelieve.

But then again… it hadn't been Rocky. His Rocky was fine – is fine. And _this_ was not _him_.

_This_ this was some spoiled rich kid who lived the life Spook could have had. He deserved that..**_they_** deserved that!

Huffing the scarred teen turned, looked around the room and eventually picked up something by the window nearby.

Jericho didn't see what he was doing, he saw nothing through his tears, just blurred objects in a dim, cold room. And even in the rare moments his tears were blinked away his vision blurred, the blood loss slowly taking its toll and there was nothing he could do about it.

Yet all his senses suddenly jolted awake when he felt something cold and sharp pressing to the inside of his cheek.

Whimpering hoarsely his eyes focused on what seemed to be a big piece of broken glass. Spook had wrapped the part he was holding into his bandana to get a better and save grip of it as he slowly dragged the splinted edge along Jericho's mouth corner, forcing him to move his head aside with it unless he wanted it to be cut.

"Come on…" Spook's grin grew wider the more his tortured self seemed to realize what came next. "You got a ffew nice piercingss in your prettty fface. You won't be affraid of a little pain, will you~?" He pressed the shard better against the other's cheek, making Jericho whine louder and as the last attempt of defense turning his head up and away, eyes still squeezed shut.

"P-plea se..!" He choked out between ragged breaths. "Ple ase d on't.. ! I- I di dn' t wan t y-y our l-life to be mis-misserable..! I didn' t e ven kn ow y- you—"

"**SHUT UP** and look at me when you want to talk to me…!" Spook nonchalantly interrupted the incoherent stuttering, grabbed the other's hair and yanked his head back to keep him still, but at least got Jericho to open his tear filled eyes again and was confronted with a pleasant look of sheer horror.

"… Try and whine to god over your _oh-so-misserable_ ffate, maybe he lisstenss…!"

Those were the last words Jericho heard before another wave of numbness flooded his body. This cold white mask above a furious scarred face were the last things he saw before his eye fell close again. He only realized now that he would die here… without saying goodbye to Micah or any of his family. And it also wouldn't be a quick, painless death… fuck no.

Maybe Spook was right. Maybe he did take this life for granted and all the people in it… though Jericho always tried hard and thought he'd actually worshiped all of them .. well not all of them… obviously.

He guessed that was a punishment after all. His punishment.

Jericho tasted dirt and blood from the piece of broken glass, just on the brim of becoming unconscious. But he surely would be woken up by the the pain of a contaminated sharp object cutting his cheek open. No doubts.

Well he wasn't.

It was not the incredible ache that shook his senses awake but a dull, metal thud, followed by another.

The hand in his hair slipped away and the weapon fell from his mouth, clattered on the ground.

There was heavy breathing, only for a moment or two. Another louder sound echoing through the room as the blood sprinkled metallic rod met the floor.

"Fuck..! Oh shit- Jer! Can you hear me?!"

Two warm hands cupped the teen's pierced cheeks rather roughly and a strong deep voice was calling out for him a few times.

And that's when he as sure he must be dying. This voice… couldn't be real.


End file.
